Here is a good place to start for pointers (although the socks+sandals thing is a lie perpetuated by people jealous of the ease with which we get other people to pay us to go on holiday):
Geologists are 'scientists' with an unnatural obsession with rocks and alcohol. Often too smart to do boring monotonous sciences like chemistry or physics, geologists devote their time to mud-worrying, volcano spotting and high-risk colouring in.Follow the link to the Uncyclopedia, Wikipedia's "very special" cousin, for more. It seems that they recognise the importance of us Geologists in the scientific ecosystem, because as yet only the Physicists have had similar treatment (well, Geographers have too, but we all know that they're wannabes).
One of the main difficulties in communicating with geologists is their belief that a million years is a short amount of time. Consequently, such abstract concepts as "Tuesday Morning" and Lunchtime are completely beyond their comprehension.
To spot a geologist in the wild, look for:
- Socks worn with sandals, unless the wearer is German.
- Hand-lens, compass, pen-knife, handcuffs etc. tied round neck with string.
- Ownership of a pet rock (in the case of palaeontologists, this will be their closest friend).
- Overenthusiasm on the subject of dinosaurs.
- Someone explaining to airport security that a rock hammer isn't really a weapon.
- Takes photos, includes people only for scale, and has more pictures of rock hammer and lens cap than of his family.
- Someone with collection of beer cans/bottles rivals the size of his rock collection.
- Someone who brings beer instead of water when hiking.
- Someone with unnatural amounts of facial hair and wears lots of polar fleece.
- Someone whose lunch consists of rocks, instead of ordinary bread.
- Someone who consumes tonsil-killing chili for dinner every night of the week, and warms it up in a can on the drill rig engine block.
- Often has hair in a pony-tail (this applies to male or female geologists).
- Someone who considers a "recent event" to be anything that has happened in the last hundred thousand years.
- Someone who licks and/or scratches & sniffs rocks.
- Someone who eats dirt and claims to be "getting an estimate of grain size"